If you've made it to this page... I want to celebrate you.
Thinking about confidence is an edge that many people don't even go near.
It also isn't an overnight thing.
That's why this isn't called "10 hacks for unshakable self-confidence".
[although you've probably seen something similar, right?]
Instead I want to share with you 10 resources that have deeply impacted my own journey of building confidence, being comfortable expressing myself, and caring a little bit less about the thoughts//opinions//intrusions of others.
This is #3 in our Style Series.
If you're looking to build deeper inner confidence, to express yourself at work...
If you have... a few minutes
1. Re-frame for self-doubt//imposter syndrome//stretchy goals.
It's really normal to feel uncomfortable when we are out of our comfort zone.
This feels scary because it is unfamiliar. Not because I am incapable.
2. Learn how to create ladder thoughts
Maybe you have thoughts like "I am so terrible at expressing myself"//"I could never wear that"//"I hate my body".
Your brain is not going to jump straight to believing "It's so easy to express myself"//"I can wear anything"//"I love my body".
So instead... we create ladder thoughts.
Read now: Short blog article by Unf*ck Your Brain
3. Self-abandonment cycle
This is for my fellow people-pleasers, carers, over-givers.
Reflection question: where do I need to express my needs? How can I sit with discomfort & allow guilt without trying to compensate for it?
(Little note: it's okay to feel guilty. And to let it pass)
If you have... 15-30 mins
4. Core belief that drives insecurities
And the transforming effect of writing "I am enough" on your mirror.
[It is still up on my mirror, 5 years after first finding this work]
Watch now: Marissa Peer on Youtube
5. How to stop fear & anxiety
- fear & excitement are the same physiological experience in your body
- positive thinking alone can make your fears worse
- learn anchoring technique
Watch now: Mel Robbins on Youtube
6. How to build self-confidence
If you haven't found The Life Coach School yet... your life is about to change.
Listen now: self-confidence podcast
7. Recognise the "trance of unworthiness"
Honestly, even just having language for the trance of unworthiness will change your life. Here are 4 key reflection questions that help you see where you might be stuck in the trance:
Do I accept my body as it is?
Do I accept my mind as it is?
Do I accept my emotions and moods as they are?
Do I feel I’m a bad person because of ways I behave?
Full reflection exercise: Tara Brach's website
Steps to break out of the trance: Tara Brach on Calm
If you have... a few hours
Then do I have some book recommendations for you.
8. Not Nice by Dr Aziz Gazipura
This is for you if you are are looking to stop people-pleasing, staying silent & feeling guilty...
And start speaking up, saying no, asking boldly, and unapologetically being yourself.
[I didn't even have to write that. It is the book description. Talk about hitting home, right?]
Read now: Amazon (free with Kindle Unlimited! in Aus)
9. Pussy: A Reclamation by Mama Gena
When read at the right time... this book might just rock your world. Reclaim pleasure, confidence, enjoyment, connection with yourself & your body.
It's not strictly about confidence but has been the single-biggest influence for me in the last 12+ months in stepping into my voice & power.
Tools and practices a woman requires to do and be whatever she wants in this life. It's a call for her to tune in, turn on, and not drop out--but live more richly, fully, and lusciously than she ever thought she could. There's a revolution afoot, and you're invited.
10. Code of the Extraordinary Mind by Vishen Lakhani
Not everyone will love this book.
But if the idea of questioning the brules [bullsh*t rules] and choosing your own version of the world intrigues you... read on.
Book summary: 10 laws for an extraordinary life
Read: Amazon (current $9.99 on Kindle)
Catch the rest of this Style Series:
This is what Style Revival is about. Expressing yourself at work & uplifting your style to reflect you now: outer appearance, inner confidence, and a nourishing work space.
Unlock your own expression.
Curate an inner & outer reality that you’re quietly (or not so quietly) in love with.
There isn't anything like this program.
I'm Stephanie Brien - call me Steph. I lead the Work Well Warriors team.
[connect on Linkedin or Instagram] I help growth-focused humans get unstuck and find new possibilities. To explore work & life on your terms... then ground that in practical tools you can use day-to-day.
I did all the things I was "supposed" to. Studying business, psychology, and writing a thesis on motivational theories. The job I landed in was great... until it wasn't. Burning out, experiencing complete mental exhaustion until I had nothing left to give. I wish this story wasn't so common. But it meant that I started to experiment. To step outside of the normal "rules" of work & life and started to explore. On my terms. I'm here to help you find your own direction for work & life on your terms. Whatever that looks like for you. To guide you with a blend of playfulness and ease, backed with structure and tools. I can't wait to connect ✨